

Self-Help
A guide for Chinese living abroad to return home
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Check if there is a flight not cancelled yet at least 15 days away in the future.
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Book the flight.
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Go make a document and check if you are sick and start documenting your health condition 15 days before the flight.
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Wait for the flight to be cancelled and execute plan B.
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Find a swimming pool near your house.
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Go to the swimming pool and start swimming as far as you can.
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Go to Amazon and buy a life ring.
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Jump into the pacific with the life ring.
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Keep swimming until you can’t.
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Take a break at the great Pacific garbage patch.
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Keep swimming until you either get saved by a ship passing by or die on drowning or pirates before coronavirus.
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If still alive on the ship, ask them to bring you back to China.
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If the ship refuse to bring you back to China, read step 15.
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If the ship hand you in to the police, you will be brought back to the US because of your legal status. Execute plan C.
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Dress up and pretend that you are a pet. For instance, a dog, a cat, a hedgehog, or a Pokémon.
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Ask a person who is able to fly to China to bring you as his/her pet.
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Stay in the shadow of the cage. You may choose to bark or mews when you cross the border, but be careful if you are not good at it.
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If you did not pass the border, go to step 20.
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If you passed the border, feel free to relax in the cargo. You will be back in China in a few hours.
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You’re out of available plans. But -if fortunately you did not lose it- you will always be able to use your own brain :)



