i came upon it by accident

last month when i wanted to be alone

id visited all my usual spots but they were filled

expanses already populated with thoughts, prayers, penances, and invocations; 

impeding the possibility of reclusion

 

so i drove

for something to mirror my detachment

the drive had almost sufficed, 

hours spent looking out on homes and houses that were of no significance to me

nonspecific convenience stores , listless as they were abundant 

 

but passing through unfamiliarity is not the same as being held by untempered vacancy

 

so i kept driving

 

and eventually i had made it

a reservoir a few miles off the highway

its water touched only by those who knew not to leave themselves behind

on a long stretch of road which would only spill further into a disparate vacuum had i chosen to follow it

 

it was difficult to see, only noticeable from the water wrinkling about its edges

i fished it out of the swampy marsh and cradled it with my palms

wavering with the breaths of the basin

all flesh, no body; but infinite quiddity

 

it drained into the pores of my memory

delving, pulsing, pulling --like mucous; viscous between strained sheets of tissue

uprooting my resilience and embodying my conscious

 

and he is holding them

my thoughts, prayers, penances, and invocations

digesting them voraciously so that we both might be alone again